A few days ago as I was leaving my house to walk Penny (my dog), I heard loud voices down the street. As I came closer, I could see a young couple, my guess... grade 12. They were having quite the spat. It was hard to not hear it. They were both accusing the other of saying insulting words. My guess is that if these two were dating, it was likely the last date! I so much wanted to give them advice, but it just seemed too weird to interrupt the yelling! But if it had been appropriate, this is what I would love to have told them:
When we find ourselves in a disagreement, there are some statements which, when spoken, can become stumbling blocks in a relationship. There are more than I have listed here, but these are some that came to mind:
“You never…”
“You always…”
Yeah, but you...”
“Oh, but I remember...”
When accusing, interrupting, ignoring, yelling, harsh words, or the silent treatment is used, you know you are in trouble. If you stay on this path, you won’t end up in a good place!
I love what the book of Proverbs says about the tongue. Here are a few words of wisdom that often stand out to me.
Proverbs 10:19 “Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongue.”
We are wise to recognize when our words are going nowhere, and that more words will not solve the problem. At least not right now.
Proverbs 12:18 “The words of the reckless pierce like a sword, the tongue of the wise brings healing.“
Our words have the power to bring pain or healing; we need to be wise in what we say.
Proverbs 13:3 “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly come to ruin.“
Every conversation goes better when we choose our words wisely–which words and how many are important!
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
A gentle word is more effective than a harsh word, every time!
Proverbs 13:10 “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”
Humility in our relationships makes way for healing, understanding, and eventually peace, as forgiveness is made possible. When our hearts are brimming with pride, it is difficult to ask or offer forgiveness.
May God give us wisdom as we navigate relationships with the people He has put in our lives!
Dear Father,
Thank You for the wisdom found in Your Word. I pray that You would give me wisdom in my relationships today. May I love and listen to those around me, as I ought. May I be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to become angry, as Your word instructs.
In Jesus Name,
Amen