The What If’s of Addiction

It is pretty hard to walk with someone you love and not ask yourself “what if…”. What if they don’t make it home safely? What if they lose their job? What if they get killed stumbling into a car because they are so drunk or high? What if they get robbed on their way home or beat up? What if they never change? What if they never get sober or clean? The “what if” questions can consume the hearts and minds of those who love them. 

I have NO idea how anyone can walk this wretched path without faith, without the privilege of going to the one who sees all. It is one massive steep climb. I needed God to walk with me (even push me) up that mountain. I know there were times He even carried me. I came to the end of myself many times. I know I am not someone with limitless strength and stamina. I desperately needed what only God could give me. Kind friends and family played a huge role, but they can not give the strength required to get up that mountain. They can cheer and encourage (both of which are great), and … they can pray, which is huge! The Lord, who is my Shepherd, walked with me daily; moment by moment. 

When all you can see seems utterly unredeemable because they just look too messed up, know that as long as they are still breathing, there is hope. I learned to not put my hope in my loved one, but rather I looked beyond and put my trust in God. Psalm 121: 1-2 reads like this: “I lift my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord who is Maker of Heaven and earth.” It was in the looking beyond, where hope was and is born. This is something I had to do countless times. 

There is no guarantee with addiction. Out of 3 alcoholics in my family, only one found sobriety and continues to live day by day making that important choice. My dad never really found sobriety, but I hope and pray he was able to make peace with God before he died. As for my brother, I have hope there as well. Both stories are messy and heartbreaking. I look to God’s mercy and grace. There is nothing else I can do as they are both long passed away. 

We all have to journey pathways we would never choose. Perhaps it is a serious physical illness, or loving someone with mental illness, and it is just so challenging every day. My prayer for you is that you will put your hope and trust in God. I look to Jesus every single day. The challenges I face today are not like they were, but one cannot live without some new trial raising its head. That is simply what life is. We have seasons of joy and laughter, and seasons where life is just plain hard. We all have a choice: how will we face these days? 

I choose Jesus. He has never failed me. He loves me and He loves you and your loved one who maybe keeps you awake at night. If you need someone to help you make the steep climb, I know one who would love to do it with you. You just need to ask Him. 

Happy Coincidences or Answers to Prayer

I have had many people ask me over the years “ Donna why do you believe in God?” The first reason is because of the resting peace He gives me regardless of what is going on and the wisdom He offers me. He also provides me with His love to share with others when mine has run dry. And then … there are all the cool things I have seen him do.

I want to take the next few weeks or months and simply tell you some of the great things He has done. Some might say that is just a happy coincidence, I call them all answers to prayer. I think that during uncertain times it is nice to know that prayer is still powerful and God is still in the business of answering prayers. He does not always answer the way I have been hoping, sometimes He says “No” sometimes it is “ not right now, you have to wait” and then there are times when it is amazing. I want to talk about the amazing today. Here is this week’s story.

One of the greatest fears as a parent is when your child becomes lost. When we lived in Fort St. John my husband was the Youth Pastor. We were doing some kind of a youth event at this park. There was a large open field in the middle with a road on one side and a forest on the other. It was about 4 kilometers across ( I am just guessing) if you walked straight through you would hit another park road BUT if you turned and walked to the right- the forest does not end. If you have seen the virgin forests of Northern B.C. you know what I mean by a dense forest. That was where the problem began.

I was watching the teens as they were playing soccer. I was sitting at a picnic table rather than playing as I was keeping an eye on 3-year-old Martin. I noticed that my daughter Lisa was nowhere in sight. She was with her dad the last time I looked. She was about 4 or 5 at the time. I asked Bill” where is Lisa?”. He told me she was with some girls who were from about Grade 3 and they wanted to show her a hut they had built in the forest. It was just barely in the forest. I was alarmed, to say the least. I asked Bill how long ago was this? He said ‘maybe 20 minutes ago”. I told Bill you better start looking, He did. He went in the direction he had seen the girls go and there was no sign of them anywhere.

I was in my first trimester with our 3rd child and not feeling well. I panic I felt was great indeed and the prayers that followed were fervent, to say the least. Bill and the youth leaders all split off and were off running and calling for the girls. Bill ran around to the other side of the forest along the road, and prayed, “ Father my little girl is in there somewhere, please help me find her”.

In a moment, Bill said it was like someone shone a flashlight into the depths of the forest and he followed it. After about 15-20 minutes of walking, Bill could hear little girls singing a song they had learned in Sunday school. They stood in a circle holding hands and were singing and crying.

I know that it does not always work out this neat and tidy, but this time it did! I thank God for how He helped Bill to find our little girl and her friends.

Psalm 77: 2-4 “ I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, from of old, what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. We will not hide from our children; the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, His powers and wonders He has done.”

Cliff Climbing

I had a dream last night and in it, I was climbing up a very steep cliff. As I climbed and even tried to look up, I could not make out the end of the climb. I could only reach for the next jagged rock, and pull myself up a little bit more and then a little bit more. Finally I found myself at the top, I could not even remember exactly how I got there. It is a reminded me of driving. I remember leaving my house, but somehow, I covered a lot of ground, but don’t exactly recall doing it. That is what parts of this cliff climb was like. Especially when I stood at the edge and looked down. I was amazed.

I asked the Lord this morning, what was that cliff climbing all about? He told me it is about faith. I was not expecting that reply. He said that “ faith is often pictured as jumping off a cliff and trusting that I will catch you. That is true but it is not the only picture of what true faith. Sometimes faith is climbing up a cliff where you cannot see the top. You can only see what you need to grab onto next. It is a hard climb and you know that you need Me. There is no doubt in your mind of the need for my presence, my strength, and my wisdom.”

I can honestly say that it is not a picture of faith I have ever considered before. The beauty of the climb at least in my mind is simple. There is no debate that God is desperately needed every moment of that journey.

Psalm 55:16-17 says “ But I call to the Lord and he saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice”

Maybe you feel like you are climbing a cliff today, remember these truths and more. You are not alone. He is with you.