"Lose Lips Sink Ships"

I don't think anyone can read too many posts, blogs, or books that remind us to watch what we say. Words are powerful - much more powerful than we realize. By our words we can quickly gain respect; or lose it just as fast. 

Most likely, we don't have to think long and hard to remember a conversation we wish we could take back. Maybe we were in a bad mood, tired, or upset by something else entirely. As a result, that frustration was taken out in that conversation on the other person. Sadly, it reflected painfully on how we are really doing.

So, what are we supose to do? I have two conversations on my mind I wish I could redo or take back. Each of them are nipping at the corners of my mind. 

First, I go to God and ask forgiveness. That is always my first move. Second, I go to the individuals and own my failure to practice wisdom. Then, hopefully, I have learned my lesson. I don't say much when I am upset about a parking ticket or something else that will lead me to say more then I ought.

There is something else that has been bugging me. I have been very tempted to talk about it with people. Yet, I know there is nothing they can do to bring about a solution. I choose daily to continually take my complaints to God. It is a much safer place to go. Unless He tells me otherwise, I will stick with this plan.

James 1:19 reminds us "My dear brothers/sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (NIV). No where in this verse does it say except if you are not feeling well or the people around you are driving their cars like crazy people.

Be patient to today with yourself and with other people. May every word we speak reflect the wisdom of James 1:19. We will sleep better if we do.

Blessings on you.

God on a Timer

I have always done better work when I set the timer. I am not sure everyone is like that, but I sure am. I work better under pressure. In many areas of life, this works very well, but not always.

I was at a conference this passed weekend. It was great, but the sessions, while very helpful and informative, were really long. I don't do well sitting for that length of time. My brain seems to slow down a lot. 

I discovered this massive church has an amazing prayer room. The topic that we were learning about was Listening to God. That is an important topic no doubt. There is always more to learn. My brain was done with the learning thing for awhile. So, I thought I would go to the prayer room and do some of this listening prayer stuff.

I read the Bible for a little while and then started to listen. I asked God how He thought I was doing in the listening department of my walk with Him. Do you know what I felt He said to me?

"Donna, you have Me on a timer and that timer does not even have 60 seconds on it. I have to make sure I say something to you in the first few seconds or you are gone. Please increase your timer". 

Wow! I could not even argue.  There are many scriptures that read, "I waited patiently for the Lord and He..." God calls all of us to wait patiently for Him. That is not easily done in a day when we have faster internet, phones, cars, and many other things. Yet, the value of waiting patiently for God has not changed. It isn't the patient waiting He restores us, speaks to us, and soothes our soul. 

It is a concious decision to be more patient in my waiting on God. That likely does not sound very spirtual, but that is what I have decided. So, that has been my practise this week. I cannot say He has spoken clearly each time, but my soul does seem to have greater rest. He is giving me wisdom to navigate some difficult paths ahead of me. 

There is alot of valuable fruit that is brought forward in the simplicity of patiently waiting. So, do you have God on a timer? He loves you and wants to meet you and I, but He does ask us to wait patiently. May He help us be better waiters!

The Struggle to Truly Receive

Have you ever been given a gift? Say a sweater. You liked it, said thank you, and then put it away? Months later you find it again and then think -oh, I forgot about that?' Why have I been wearing my old ratty sweater all this time? 

I wonder if God sees us and wonders the same thing? We have asked Him to forgive us for something, but guilt nibbles at our heart while we try to sleep at night.

There are times I have prayed fervently for someone I love deeply and entrusted him or her into the hands of Jesus only to find, I am worrying about him or her again within the hour. So, I pray again and leave that burden once more with Jesus who is more than able to care for the situation far better then I am. I find passages of scripture that build my faith and enable to me to trust Him more thourougly. 

When a person puts their trust in Jesus the Bible tells us we become "new" and the old has passed. Yet, I don't remember feeling particularly new. I did feel peace, however. To be honest, when I first met Jesus I had no idea I was a new creation in Him and the old had passed away. I had not read the Bible. All I knew at that time was peace whose source was not the sun shining outside my window.

I know there are huge books written on this topic and it could be said easily that I have made it too simple. That is how I operate though.

When Jesus says to us, I forgive you. Tell Him thank you and I receive that in Jesus Name. Then when you start feeling guilty again, just thank Him once more for that wonderful forgiveness. Do this as many times as it takes to really melt into your heart.

As for burdens that hang on your heart like a set of weights, I do the same thing. I give them over to God again and again. I also read passages of scripture that remind me that He is big enough for this problem. He is wise and faithful. I remember the countless times I have trusted Him and have found Him faithful.

When I think about the promise that He made of being a new creation, that is something I work on every day. I have to remember that I am God's child and He loves me. He is the Master Potter and He does not make junk. I know that He is not finished yet.  That is always a good place to begin. Reading His Word is always helpful in these things.

God loves us and is for us. Receive by faith what He offers to you today.

Being thankful even on grey days

I have noticed birds sing louder and more frequently on sunny days. There is something about sunshine that seems to make everything seem better, even when it isn't and likely will not be for a long time. 

Today is a typical Toronto day - its grey. But, it also means it is not cold. When the tempterue hovers around zero, it is often a cloudy grey day. It is on the cold crisp days the sun often shines here. 

I have been challenged today to practice an attitude of gratitude. That always sounds like such a nice idea, but frankly, it would easier to do if the sun was shining. Yet, we are asked in Psalm 100 to enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. No where does it say only if you are having a good day. 

God and Scrabble

It was a quiet evening at my house last night, although my heart was not. I was deeply troubled by something that had happened a few nights earlier. I like when I can fix things. This was unfixable. I was tempted to send an email or talk with the people who had hurt me. But, I knew it would accomplish nothing. It would only make them feel bad and guilty. A conversation wouldn't fix the hurt that was stinging my heart.

I took some time in the quiet to ask God what He had to say about this situation. I needed to hear from the One I know is all wise. I asked Him to speak to me, but I was met by sheer silence. I knew that God was very interested in talking to me, so I decided I would play a game of scrabble on my iPad. Scrabble is what I do to keep my brain from going to mush as I get a tiny bit older.

So, I was playing and happily beating the computer. Then, it was my turn again - the last turn. I had five tiles on my rack. Together, they were the letters "g-r-a-c-e."

I heard the Lord's quite voice, full or mercy and grace, speak to me in that moment. He said, "Grace, extend grace Donna. So much of it has been exteneded to you."

Peace filled my heart in that moment and all the troubled thoughts disapated. My Heavenly Father quieted my fears and gently touched my aching heart. 

"Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

Details,Anxiety and God

Details are by far not my strength. Therefore anxiety often nips at the corners of my mind. Lists help most of the time but not always. Then there are the issues that are well beyond lists or my control.

For the past several months, my husband and I have been planning a major renovation. We have an architect and a builder. We chose our architect on recommendation of a friend. As for the builder- Bill went jogging and prayed. He asked God " who should we hire to be our builder?" The Lord told him clearly, ask Paul. We had met Paul only once at a birthday party. Bill and I found him very kind and warm. We also found out he was a builder. At the time we were not thinking at all of renovating.

Here we were in this position of needing a builder. So, Bill called Paul and showed him the drawings and he agreed. Excellent but the problem was it needed to get by our neighbour because our house is semi-detached. We needed them to be ok with our plans. I worried for months I did pray also- but I would be lying to say I was not worried.

A few days ago Bill went over to see our Portugeuse neighbours and brought the builder with him. They were to discuss and get approval of the project. The good news is Paul is also Portugese which did not even cross our minds at the time we hired him. It mattered now. Bill found out in that meeting that Paul came from the same island in Portugal and the same small town. They know his parents who fed them 35 years ago when they cameto Canada and they helped them move into there home as well! She said " Paul, if you are the one doing the building, we will sign anything.

Bill hardly talked the entire  meeting. Only God sets up these kinds of details. Some call it coincidence, I call it God who loves and cares for us.

Whatever you are facing today, give your burdens over to God who does care for you and about whatever you are facing today.  

My favourite Christmas Jokes I Played on my kids

Laughter is life giving and I have experienced much of it in my day. I am sitting here by my lovely Christmas tree thinking about some of the things of days gone by that make me smile. Here are a few.

One Christmas I put a Regal Catalogue in the bathroom with the other magazines. I went through the whole thing and marked the worst possible gifts each of my children would want. For my daughter a hockey poster- she has no use for hockey. For my 11 year old son - a wrap around stuffed puppy you would use when napping in a car. Then for my 9 year old a butterfly puzzle- he hated puzzles and for my 7 year old son, finger puppets. I circled each item with their name by it and waited.  A Week passed by finally one of my boys came to me and said " mom did you already order those gifts you chose for us?". I looked shocked that they would even ask. The caring child wanted me to realize that the chosen gifts were maybe not what they would like. 

Finally after a few weeks had passed and the youngest son came bawling his eyes out that he did not want finger puppets and his older brother hates puzzles and his other brother... mommy how is he going to tell his friends that he received a wrap around puppy for Christmas?  And lastly mommy I am the one who loves hockey, not my sister! He was almost hyperventilating by now and Bill made me tell them I was only joking and I did not order the gifts. There was great relief among my four children. It is a wonder they are not all in counselling. Maybe they are and they have not told me. 

One time we bought a bean bag chair for one of my boys who loved to read. It was in a huge box and he was very curious. I told him it was a joke on your dad and that I had told him it was a pen with lots of newspaper around it. I wrapped up the gift and put Bills name on the gift. My son thought I was brilliant. He had no idea just how brilliant I was! 

With four kids who liked to cheat and look into gifts, I switched every name that year. It made for alot of quiet questions. The best was Christmas morning when our boy saw the big box was really for him! He was delighted and that bean bag chair was well used for years to come. 

We sure had alot of fun and we still do, it just looks different now. Embracing change and family that grows is a blessing. It comes with new challenges but lots of laughter as well. I am looking forward to it. Who knows what new tricks I will dream up!

Bad Days can also be Good Days!

Have you ever had one of those days when all the traffic lights seem to be red or every road you choose is under constrution? You stubbed your toe getting out of bed and you spilt your coffee when you sat down? Those can be frustrating days but not necessarily the bad kind of day I am thinking about. 

I am thinking about the days when people you love deeply are beyond your intervention. You desperately want to rescue them, but you can't. I remember when I was  growing up and  my dad who was an alcholic and lived with us still. I wanted to fix his drinking. I thought if I could keep my room clean enough or even the whole house maybe then dad would not drink! I tried all kinds of things, none of my child like solutions worked. 

Then years later, I would have to deal with my brother whom I loved deeply. He struggled with depression and addictions badly. All my efforts to help him, would not be enough. It never mattered how long I sat with him, while I know he appreciated my company, it was not enough. There was nothing I could do in my own strength that would deliver him from what was tormenting him. 

Immediately we tend to think " it is so tragic" and it is. Though those situations and others I have faced since,break my heart, they also drive me to the place of prayer. I am not big enough or powerful enough to tinker in the hearts of these troubled souls I have loved to dearly.

God invites us into His Presence with our backpacks full of troubles that are well beyond our solutions. As we lay them down and leave them there, He picks them up, one by one. In the book of Isaiah, we are reminded that God does not do things always as we think He should. But, remember this, He is trustworthy. Psalm 121;1 says " I lift up my eyes to the hills- from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth. 

A bad day becomes a good day, because we are finally out of solutions and have become willing to lay them down at the feet of One who is bigger and more then able to care for what is so very dear to your heart. Trust Him. His timing is not yours, but leave the burden there with Him. All your efforts have not worked. Wait on God!

The Wonders of Wisdom

One day Bill and I were off to play a game of baseball. We left the house quickly as we were late. When we got to the park,I grabbed my glove and dashed out of the car. As I ran to the baseball field I looked down as something felt off. I was wearing my slippers with the brown bow!! I was horrified. Wisdom and wearing the right shoes for the task at hand are not that different. 

 you plan to climb a mountain that is going to be challenging you won't want to wear flip flops for obvious reasons. For that climber who says "no I will stick to wearing my flip flops", will suffer for the choice shortly. 

There many sources of wisdom available through all kinds of avenues. For me, I choose to go to the Author of Wisdom who is God. He gives me instructions on how to live every single day. The challenge is to listen to that wisdom and act upon it. 

The foundation of all wisdom according to the book of Proverbs is "The fear of the Lord". You might wonder what in the world is that suppose to mean? Very simply put it is respect, awe and sometimes being terrified at the Holiness and Power of God. Wisdom also trusts God implicitly. It is from this place you can begin to really grasp the wisdom of God

The book of Proverbs has thirty one chapters, that makes a chapter for every day of the month. You will find if you read a chapter of the book of Proverbs daily, it would make a difference in your life especially if you put into practise. Your friends will notice a difference if you do. It is like choosing every day the best possible footwear to navigate the challenges of today's journey. 

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Take the 31 day challenge and read a chapter a day and see what difference it makes in your life. I will do it too! 

A Case For Character

When it is time for teacher parent interviews, the revelation of marks is very near the beginning of the interview. When my children were in grade school, I would stop the teacher before she/he got too deeply into it. I would inquire rather about how they were treated by our children. Were they respectful and kind? How did they treat their classmates. If they had all A's but treated those around them like dirt, that "A" meant very little to me. It is not the "A" that would carry them thoughout their lives, it was their character.

Here are five points of character to consider today.

1. It is good to teach your child manners, like please and thank you. It is better to teach your children why we are to be thankful. You cannot teach thankfulness when kids are given the freedom to complain or criticize gifts given to them. I remember one mom telling me how her kids didn't like the pajama's their grandma gave them each Christmas. So, mom complained on behalf of the the children. That does not teach thankfulness it breeds entitlement and that is the last thing we need more of.

2- Teach your children the importance of how their words and actions can negatively impact others. I was at a park a few weeks ago and heard a mom say to her little girl " honey you go and have fun and do whatever seems right to you and ignore what anyone says otherwise". I was thinking she could right a book about how to raise a nightmare child. If you want your dear child to grow up one day and keep a job, they need this lesson to rest in their hearts deeply. If they cannot learn when they need to be silent or to speak with the understanding of the power of their words and actions, they will be in trouble one day. All the talent in the world will not rescue them. 

3-Humility is important even today. While we live in a culture where we praise our children for their accomplishments, it is important to balance that out as well. It takes courage to truly acknowledge our accomplishments and to then walk humbly with the knowledge that there is still more to learn. If you watch the movie about the life of Mozart-a young man with enormous talent but no concept of humility or the tremendous value of respecting the talents of others even when their talent is lesser then your own. That takes humility. 

4- Learning to lose well matters. While it is great to see our children win at their sport or be the best in the band, failure will no doubt be present from time to time. How we navigate failure is a big deal. It tells people more about us then when we win. Sulking, blaming and complaining and fanning that flame is foolish. Learning from our errors and knowing when to move on is a very wise and precious lesson on living wisely.

5- Teaching children to listen to you and to others without interrupting is important. One day they with all their wonderful talent will apply for a job. In the interview in front of them sits a resume neatly polished. As they go through the interview they continually interrupt the interviewer. You might say to me- Donna this is an issue of manners- that is true to a point. Looking a bit deeper though, it is an the wisdom of knowing that what others have to say is important. I can wait my turn because they are important and I need to be listening so I can answer well and wisely. 

I have more I would like to add. That will be next time. Thank you for reading.

Stumbling Along

When I was in the supermarket I bought a bag of wonderful candies. They were so good! I loved sneaking one when Bill was not looking. Yet he also had to listen to me complain about the fat I see on myself. He is pretty tired of hearing about it let me tell you. I know that I am my own worse enemy and I needed to deal with this. So, yesterday morning I threw all the candies I had not consumed in the garbage.

We all have things we stumble over- whether it is simple as bad snacking to something that makes the journey of your life very difficult. Stumbling blocks like the inability to forgive or a tendency to see the negative when the positive stands so nearby if you would look just a wee bit harder. 

For me I have a variety of stumbling blocks. Just when I have dealt with one, there is another one to stub my toe on! Last week I felt like God pointed out to me how I find it hard to let people go. Friendships change and people make choices I do not like. Yet they have the freedom to make them. Sometimes that includes me stepping aside and trusting them into the care of God. I find this hard to do so it becomes a stumbling block. 

Last week God in His gentle way pointed this out to me. When I finally took the time to listen, I was able to talk it over with Him and give this matter to Him-taking my hands off. 

The thing is you can never remove a stumbling block unless you are willing to acknowledge their presence. God is very patient Shepherd and willing to wait for us. If we wonder at times about our slow progress perhaps it is because there is a stumbling block on your path and you are not seeing it. 

James is likely my favorite book in the bible. In the first chapter, verse 5 any of us whom lack wisdom are invited to ask God who gives generously to all and does this without finding fault.

The Lord is our burden bearer. Stumbling blocks not dealt with become burdens. Jesus offers to carry our burdens, but that means we need to acknowledge them, ask for forgiveness when we need to and then give them over. May times the Lord has pointed out to me I needed to take my hands off in order for Him to really take it. 

May God give to you straight pathways today. May He give you courage to see what may be blocking your path and the faith to surrender it to Him.

A Little Less Rushing Please!

When my mom passed away, she left this slider rocking chair. It is really comfortable but the cover on the cushions was hideous. So, I decided to recover the cushions. If this project was going to be an IQ test, I would have failed. 

The cushions are all done, but I see I should have made them bigger and they are not straight either, so now the cushions bend in a strange way. What I should have done is humbled myself and asked for a wee bit of help. Now this lesson is right there on my deck, reminding me... I didn't.

If I can keep this silliness to just cushions, I will be doing well. But, life is too big for that.  

When I rush into my day with all kinds of situations and fail to have stopped to really check in with God and listened for His direction for the day. I find myself in circumstances I did not prepare myself well for. My responses lack wisdom or discernment.I have found that the days I take the time to read the Bible and reflect on what God is saying to me, affects everything that follows. 

I have a ready encouragement for someone in need. I have the wisdom to stay quiet rather then speak or maybe I have the grace available to extend to another.

Slowing down, preparing for the day, helps me to not rush to my own fix it ways. Otherwise my day looks more like my cushions on my slider rocker and that is just plain embarrassing. 

We will not get today or yesterday back. Choose to start your day wisely, acknowledging the need we have for direction from the One who is indeed all- wise. 

Stormy Days

 It was a beautiful day when my husband Bill and I started our walk. We enjoyed the sunshine, but did notice the storm which was quickly approaching. The wind kicked up suddenly when we were a few blocks from home. When the rain started we were soaked through within a minute. We were running as fast as we could. Bill grabbed my hand and was dragging me along.

Left One day Jesus and His disciples had spent the entire day with people. Jesus had taught many people really important things on all different topics. It would be like a long day at a conference with one speaker, sharing excellent and informative things all day long.Then He fits in healing a whole bunch of people.  Now it is time to go home. 

So, the main speaker who was Jesus, tells his ministry team (the disciples) to get into the boat and take them to the other side. He was going to go to the back of the boat and take a snooze. He must have been pretty tired as He went to sleep pretty fast by the sounds of things. 

The storm seemed to kick up pretty quickly and these disciples were managing pretty good I imagine. After all, some of them at least had spent their lives on the sea as they were fishermen before they met Jesus! Well, when the waves were so high they were breaking over the side of the boat and  rowing was not easy. That was it, they thought they were doomed. In a panic they did what I would have done, they woke up Jesus. 

Lord, don't you see, we are going to drown here! How can you sleep through our terrible struggles, You are bigger then this storm! Make it stop! I am terrified and I hate being terrified! Jesus woke up and spoke to them, rebuking them for their lack of faith then spoke to the  wind and the waves and it stopped! The disciples could honestly say, they had never seen anything like this before. 

It is curious that Jesus chose not to say" Sorry my disciples for not waking up sooner" rather He rebukes them for their lack of faith. After all He said they were going to the other side. Somehow the strength of the wind and the hieght of those waves just knocked everything the Lord said to them before they started out, right out of their heads. 

Sometimes, life is like that. We go through storms of all kinds, and we know just how those disciples felt. Jesus, don't you see me? Don't you see how steep the climb is and how tired I am? 

What is it Jesus was really looking for from His disciples?

It was a willingness to endure the storm and trust His word that they were going to the other side, regardless of how bad things might look. 

Jesus is the one who calls us to  "walk by faith and not by sight". To trust Him for each moment. When a storm is really bad, you get through it trusting Jesus one minute at a time. If you are familiar with suffereing you will know of what I speak. By His grace and strength, we get through. We did not think we would all the time, but we did. We are here to tell the story. 

Maybe this week is one of thoes kinds of weeks for you. The wind and the rain is crazy all around you and it seems Christ is asleep in the back of the boat. The Bible tells us in Matthew 28:20" I am with you always, even
to the end of the age." He is with you. Wherever you find yourself, He is there.

The One who stilled the waves and made the wind stop, is with you. He is asking you to trust Him to get you to the other side. He is faithful and will do it. You can read this story of Jesus and His disciples and the storm in Matthew 8:23-27.

For the Stuck in the Mud Days

When the phone should be ringing or that email should arriving but instead there is only silence. What is our response? It is very easy to become discouraged. For some people it is the first response. What else is there?

 

 God's waiting room seems to be a place we all have to live. We get one thing all figured out finally and without warning, here you are again. Whether it is a job you are looking for or a relationship that stands on shaky legs. There are all kinds of reasons we find us in this old waiting room. No one is exempt. The outcome of all that waiting can be amazing it but it can also be plain old disappointing. 

We can easily become discouraged and fearful. It is like they are the occupants seated on either side of you. They take turns whispering in your ears. 

I find God does His deepest work in His waiting room. He finally  has my attention. All my efforts to resolve things have not worked. I did my best and I am out of ideas. It is  times like these that scripture that says " Be still and know that I am God" come racing to the forefront of my mind.  

If I were to put it more accurately in the words I think God is saying to me it would be more like this."Give up Donna. I know what I am doing and what you need. I AM big enough for this problem. Trust Me. While you may feel forgotten, I do not forget you. My ways are not your ways, nor are My thoughts your thoughts. Rest because I AM God."

We may not understand what is going on, but God does. He sees you and your circumstances. The One who has always been sees you and has indeed seen situations like yours before. It is not new for Him. He is all wise and all powerful. And He loves you every day. 

Don't be discouraged. Go- wash the mud off your feet. You are not without hope. There is One who is bigger then you and I. 

Signs that this new guy/girl you just met is not a keeper

Not every date you have should be a repeat event. It is hard to know really what are the signs though of great potential in a relationship? I have compiled a list for you if you are interested.

1. The person describes for you all the people they have not gotten along with or hate.

2.They cleary are not good at forgiving. Why? Because the day will come when you will need their forgiveness because none of us are perfect.

3. They require 90%-100% of your attention. What do I mean? You must be available for each and every text, phone call email they send you. They want to see you daily. It may be nice for the first week, but you still have a life you would like to live.

4. You feel like you are always in trouble- having to explain...

5.You cannot talk heart to heart. Partly because they are still talking about themselves and their world and are not interested in yours. Move on!! 

6.The things you do bore them and the things that fascinate them bore you. Not the right fit no matter how good looking they are.

7. If you have been dating for awhile and the relationship feels like leftovers in the fridge. 

8. Even a dating relationship should challenge you to be the best you can be. The sun shines brighter because they are in your life. You want to be your best and they believe in you and you them. If this is not the case, then this is not right for you.

9. They seem to be alergic to working. 

10.They do not like your family or friends. ( unless of course your friends are really not making you better but leading you down dark paths

11. If you are a Christian, so should they be. Without question. The person that God has chosen for you, is someone who loves Him just as you do.

12. They do not treat you well, they insult you or speak disrespectfully of you. Pass.

May God lead you my young friend. You are special and someone would be blessed to date you. Cheering for you. Donna

The Best Dating Advice I gave to my sons

I started young with my boys, some would call it brainwashing I guess. Whatever it was, it seemed to work. I think my two youngest were 4-5 years old when i asked them my first question. The conversation went like this. We were in my kitchen, I had just given them a choclate chip cookie....

me: Ok boys, say you meet a very nice girl when you are much older.

them: Yes mommy

me: you bring them home and introduce them to mommy.

them: yes mommy

me: but the girl does not really like mommy, what should you do?

them: we don't know mommy

me: never bring them home again and make it the last time you date them.

them: ok mommy.

I also told them:

me: so you see this pretty girl,

them: yes mommy

me: see how they are dressed and ask yourself " can I afford them:?

them: why mommy

me: if you cannot afford their outfit, you are not going to be able to afford them when you marry them either.

Another conversation.

me: Boys, if you feel like you can afford them, then you need to find out do they really love Jesus. This is very important.

them: okay mommy

me: boys, you need to know that they really love Jesus, just like you do.

them: okay mommy

Continuing on this topic

me: boys, the girl needs to help you become the best man you can be. She needs to cheer for you and believe in you when no one else does. She should speak respectfully to you and treat you with kindness right from the start.

them: okay mommy

Lastly:

me: boys, you need to love them the way daddy loves me. You need to stand by her, treat her like the gift that she is. You need to be faithful to her and honour her in every way. Okay boys?

them: yes mommy

This conversation continued for years to come. It is not a perfect method, but it was my way. It seems to have worked so far!

I remember one time one of the boys was interested in a girl who wore less clothing in the daytime then I wear at night. I asked this teenage son " could you bring her to the farm to meet Oma and Opa?' He thought about it for a moment, "no mom, that would be embarrassing." That ended it even if she was beautiful and claimed to be a follower of Jesus.

The best thing a parent to be with their children is not be afraid to be honest, speak when it seems right and be good at listening. It helps if we apoligize when we blow it also. Lastly, when kids are young they have much more willingness to listen. When they become teens or even in their twenties, you only have a sentence. They don't like lectures though we love to give them, Makes your few words count and pray!

The Incident Room

When I was praying the other day, the Lord showed me something of my own heart which surprised me. Perhaps you will identify with me? I had this room I kept way back in my heart. It was dark and dusty. I had NO idea it was even there. In the rooom were a few dusty barrels with roots growing out of them.

I was more then surprised to see them there. Surely Lord, I thought I kept such short accounts with You?! What are thes barrels then? " Memories of people who have hurt you and have left you feeling abonded. people who you have loved and made choices you do not agree with". Really Lord? I thought I had dealt with all this stuff. "No" the Lord said, "you have not, you have just put them into storage." Really? What are the roots then? He told me " those are roots of bitterness and malice?" Really?!!

 said "Invite me to come and remove these from you, and clean out all this dust. Let me fill it with my love and mercy, but first you know what you must do."

I do... I asked the Lord for His forgiveness and acknowleged the truth He showed me. I asked Him to come and clean out this "Incident Room". 

What difference has it made you ask me? I have not forgotten what happened but I can tell you my friend, that the emotion is not anger but mercy. I feel lighter and more hopeful and more alive then I have for awhile.

I hope this had made sense to you and maybe it can help someone else who has their own "Incedent Room".

The Power of our Words

There is alot in the news these days about words and freedom of speech. It is difficult to ignore. The Pope makes the point that we should not insult peoples faith. Some faiths, are very vocal and put actions into play to back up their point. We saw this last week in Paris. The tragic loss over life no doubt, yet in the minds of those responsible for the killing, they defended what was most precious to them. 

Imagine a magazine that rather then satire,where there is nothing sacred, what would happen  if they were aimed at being life giving, encouraging? The humour would  reflect the silliness of some of our more foolish lies we believe. For example, the belief that owning more will bring contentment and happiness. The sad truth in all this; would they sell even one paper? They would actually, because I would buy it!

We live in a world and time in history, where there is very little believed to be sacred outside of our freedom to say whatever comes to mind. In Canada, it is always wise to be politically correct as demonstrated by the whole "Happy Holidays" thing. I like to say Merry Christmas.... I try to be sensitive. Honestly the whole thing bugs me. 

It is curious what society holds dear and what they feel is free to mock and share with the world.

Words are powerful things, actions even more so. Isaiah 50:4 says this " The Sovereign Lord has given me His words of wisdom,so that I may know Him and comfort the weary. Morning by morning He wakens me and opens my understanding to His will".

Imagine a world that practiced this daily? How different the cartoons would look- how different the conversations that take place in coffee shops the world over would sound. Conversation and perspective which is infused with the grace and the wisdom of God- bring life. 

How are your conversations going these days? What do they say about what is in your heart?

Our words and actions reflect what is in our hearts, no matter what you believe.

10 Things I cannot change

.  The Beyond Me List of Things I cannot change.

1. I cannot  change other people- as much as I would like to sometimes! I cannot heal them of their sicknesses but I can pray for them. 

2. I cannot make people stop parking in front of my house and all down our road- that is life in Toronto.

3. I cannot change how good chocolate tastes and how it so consistantly calls to me- perhaps I could stop answering the call!

4. I cannot change the past. I cannot alter conversations I wish I never had or altrenatively, wish I had them.

5. I cannot change how old I am or all the perks or quirks that come with it. 

6. I cannot how much people like me or do not like me- I can choose to be kind no matter what though

7. I cannot change some of the trends I see in society. Even though they bug me. At least I do not have to agree.

8. I cannot make everyone love my cooking or baking- not that I hear complaints

9. I cannot change the willingness of others to forgive me or other people, but I can choose to forgive.

10. I cannot change how other people speak, but I can be mindful of how I speak.

It is an important life lesson to know what you can and cannot change. We waste qulite a bit of energy and emotion on things we cannot change, especially other people. It is a great and sunny day when we finally admit, there are some things in this life that are and always will be beyond us. We can leave them to themselves or give them to God on a daily basis. I find this the most helpful. Situations I would love to change, but cannot, I give to God also. I need a someone bigger then me every day, I choose to go to the One who is always bigger and loves me and loves you...every day.