The Grudge Room

If we think of our soul as a house, it has several rooms. As we stroll through, some rooms are noticeably happier looking than others. There is, however, one room that is occupied quietly or perhaps not so quietly, and that is the grudge room. Some will say they have no grudge room and to you, I say, “that is great. I wish I could say the same!”

I would like to think I am not one to keep a grudge room, but I know it is not true. I was reading the scriptures this morning and was reminded of a serious warning that Christ gave in regard to forgiveness of sin. In Mark 11:25 he says that” when we stand praying and remember that we hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so your Father in Heaven may forgive your sins”.

When I read this I thought to myself “ well, I am holding no grudge whatsoever” and was ready to move right along. However, I took some time to really consider if I had some occupants locked in that grudge room that I had forgotten about. I was a little surprised when I saw who was sitting there waiting for me to release them. Jesus never gave permission to hold anyone captive, he simply asks that forgiveness is extended. So I took some time this morning to do this very thing.

I believe it is a good habit to keep going to check the “Grudge Room” and see if I have allowed someone to slip into it as the door locks behind them and only I have the power to release them. He also warns me that forgiveness flows from God as I forgive. So, forgive I must!

If there is one room that is good to have no clutter it is this room that some of us seem to have. Some people are better at keeping it clutter-free than others, but sometimes after quiet reflection, it may not be quite as clutter-free as you had thought. It is worth taking some time to take a good honest look.

My Top Ten Tips for a Long and Happy Marriage!

I was thinking about what are some of the most important tips I could tell someone on how to make a marriage last. I have been married to my husband Bill for 36 years now and I hope and pray for many more years to come! Here are the top ten things I have learned about making it last.

1. Listen when they talk. Don’t tune your partner out.

2. Respect them- especially in public. Do not tell people dumb things they did and make them feel like they are an idiot…. unless of course it is a story that is just funny and they don’t mind you telling it. Do not assume though.

3. When trouble comes, especially when it is one of your children, your partner is not the enemy. You have to stand together through the storms, and not fight against each other.

4. Don’t take your bad day out on each other.

5. Do not fight when you are tired or at the end of the day. Agree together that you will talk when you are tired. There is wisdom around timing and even how much to say. Know when you have said enough. Don’t go on and on. It is never helpful.

6. Learn to fight fair. Accusations like “you always or you never” are rarely helpful or true.

7. Believe in each other. If you do, you will see them rise to accomplish amazing things and endure hard times, in part because the one they love is cheering for them. Be each other’s biggest fan.

8. Learn to forgive well. Bitterness is a poison that finds its way into every memory and conversation. It can poison your children and others you are close to.

9. Learn to compromise. It cannot always be your way or their way.

10. The small and thoughtful things you can do for each other add up and are precious.

If you have children, you are teaching them how to do life every day with someone. How you love and care for each other speaks louder to them than any book they will ever read. You will teach them how to forgive, how to listen and how to care for this one whom you are walking through life with.

Remember, It is an important journey and one you want to get right. Know who you married and accept them. Do not spend your energy trying to change them. The only person you can change is you.

When I run out of love I look to the Author of Love who is God. When I run out of wisdom which I often do, I turn to the One whose wisdom which is above anything on Earth who is again God.

Lastly, in a day where faithfulness to one’s partner seems optional, in my experience, it is NOT. Be faithful and true to the vows you took today and every day that follows.

Technically, this is more than 10 things so, let’s think of the other tips as bonuses!

My Secret to letting go and letting God !

Day 5

 1 Peter 5:7- “Give your worries and cares over to God for he cares about you”

 it is easy to hold onto what haunts us. I sure don’t need instructions on how to hold on tight to every one of them, especially for my loved one.

 When a drunken text would light up my phone, my heart would begin to race, and then the panic would set in. This was generally the order of things. I wish I could say this only happened sometimes, but that would be a lie. I had well-meaning friends say, “Donna you shouldn’t worry”. If only it was that simple.

 The only way I can truly give my cares to God and leave them there would be to believe that He is big enough to care for my loved one. I need to know that in the middle of the messiness of my son’s life, my Lord, my Good Shepherd, would truly be with him, every moment. Then I would have to say thank you as that was a way of acknowledging that now God had him and I know that while I may not be able to trust loved one in his current state, I could trust God who holds the world in His hands. The One who is all-wise and all-powerful stood near my loved one. Then and only then, is the giving over possible.

 There is nothing about this that is easy, but it is possible. Whatever the worry or care, God says we ought to give it to Him. There is something much more comforting in the knowledge that the One we are passing this desperate worry and care over to cares for us and He cares for us perfectly and completely. Giving the care of something or someone very dear to us to someone who cares deeply is so much more comforting than passing that precious situation or loved one to someone who is indifferent. God is NOT indifferent – He loves and cares for us and for our loved one. He is big enough and He is faithful.

 Dear Father,

I want to lay my loved one down before You today. I want to say thank you for caring for me and for this loved one who is very dear to my heart. You know all my fears and you see where my loved one is right now. Watch over him. Care for him in all the ways that I cannot. I so much want to rescue him, but I cannot. It is beyond me and the truth of this frustrates me so deeply. But, Father God, I come to You and continue to ask – please watch over my loved one today, wherever he is.

In Jesus Name,

Amen.

Cliff Climbing

I had a dream last night and in it, I was climbing up a very steep cliff. As I climbed and even tried to look up, I could not make out the end of the climb. I could only reach for the next jagged rock, and pull myself up a little bit more and then a little bit more. Finally I found myself at the top, I could not even remember exactly how I got there. It is a reminded me of driving. I remember leaving my house, but somehow, I covered a lot of ground, but don’t exactly recall doing it. That is what parts of this cliff climb was like. Especially when I stood at the edge and looked down. I was amazed.

I asked the Lord this morning, what was that cliff climbing all about? He told me it is about faith. I was not expecting that reply. He said that “ faith is often pictured as jumping off a cliff and trusting that I will catch you. That is true but it is not the only picture of what true faith. Sometimes faith is climbing up a cliff where you cannot see the top. You can only see what you need to grab onto next. It is a hard climb and you know that you need Me. There is no doubt in your mind of the need for my presence, my strength, and my wisdom.”

I can honestly say that it is not a picture of faith I have ever considered before. The beauty of the climb at least in my mind is simple. There is no debate that God is desperately needed every moment of that journey.

Psalm 55:16-17 says “ But I call to the Lord and he saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice”

Maybe you feel like you are climbing a cliff today, remember these truths and more. You are not alone. He is with you.

Day 4- Worrying Prayer.

Read Psalm 18:6 “ In my distress I called to the Lord, I cried to the Lord for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears”.

I have always found it comforting to sit in a coffee shop with a friend who really listens and understands me. The difference between this very understanding and listening friend and God is this- God has the power and wisdom well beyond anything a person can do.

 It is comforting to remember that God is very different than people. As a young mom, I l sometimes would tune out my kids after they were coming to me with their one-hundredth request of that morning. I heard them, but sometimes it came in one ear and out the other. I am so thankful God is NOT like that.

 In this short verse, initially, we don’t need instructions- in our distress we call out to God. I do not need to tell you how to do that. However, remembering the second half sometimes requires reminding. God listens to our cry. The one who holds the whole world in the palm of His hand, the God who is all-powerful and more than able has heard your cry. Now, that brings a sigh of relief! We need someone like that to hear us!

 Peace will only come as you acknowledge this truth! Thank you, Father God, that you do hear me when I call to you. Thank you that I can know that you care for me and my loved one.

 Remember, another difference is that God can see into the future. He knows the journey of my loved one, today and tomorrow and every other day.

 Father,

Thank you that you care for me and my loved one in the middle of their struggles. Father, please reach down and intervene. Give to me peace and strength for today. I need you to watch over my loved one. You can do that like no one else.

 In Jesus Name.

Amen.

If Someone was looking to experience tension headaches or just tension in their muscles, you don’t have to work hard for that to happen. One drive downtown can do that for me, or a difficult conversation, or even a hard decision. There are lots of things. I am sure you have your own list.

A few days ago, I went through a list in my head of everything that was adding to the constant knot at the base of my neck. As I thought about what it is, I named it, described what is about the issue that was worrying me, then, I imagined laying it down at the foot of the cross. I did this over and over again, until- there was nothing left. It took a while. I also had to make sure I did not take that pile I just left at His feet and put all back upon myself!

I read a scripture today which I think is a very pleasant follow up to the practice. of giving all your burdens to God. Psalm 33:11 says this: “ May your unfailing love REST upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you”.

As I read that an image of one of those wheat bags you put in the microwave when your neck is sore and your muscles are tight. As I take it, put it in the microwave, then, take it out and wrap it around my neck, I feel the warmth and it rests on my neck and shoulders, just like God’s unfailing love. It surrounds me and rests on me.

So, today I stop and say thank you, Father, for your unfailing love- it is not fleeting like so much of this world. I can count on this. Your love stays with me always.

When the Cross Feels Super Heavy

I think everyone has gone through at least one season when the Cross feels really heavy. Jesus stands on the path you are on and says” keep going”. Your response is short and simple” no Lord, I don’t want to.”

That is how I have been feeling. When I was running today and listening to music I heard this song about the Cross. I was thinking about it. The Cross- I have carried it with the help of my Good Shepherd since I was 12 years old. He has walked many valleys, fields and even climbed a few mountains with me- the Cross with me every step.

Today the Lord reminded me, that I do not carry it alone. He is with me. I do not need to be afraid. He also reminded me of the verse in Matthew 28:30-31 “ Come to Me, all of you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Some days I forget. I come to Him, but fail somehow to really allow Him to bear the weight of the burden. No wonder I find myself tired sometimes.

He reminds me that He knows the path ahead, even if I don’t even see a path. He reminded me this morning that He lead His people through the desert and there are no pathways there.

Maybe you feel a bit like I do, you need Him to strengthen you for some journey He has you on or is calling you to. He promises us in His Word to not be afraid for He is with us. Do not anxously look about you, for He is your God. Surely He will help you, surely He will uphold you with His righteous right hand.” Isa. 41:10

A Gentle Reminder from God

Have you ever felt like you are never going to get there? Who hasn’t right?

A year ago, I took up running. My daughter had been encouraging me to download “Couch to 5 km”.and finally, I did it. When I run, everyone passes me. It bugs me. At least I run faster than the people walking.

I have always been hard on myself. I wish I had learned the art of extending a bit more grace to myself. It is something I am working on. I do find though when I run, I can think better. I used to run in my twenties and now I am almost sixty. That seems totally bizarre to me. I feel more like 42 or 43 not 59 years old! They say that you are as old as you feel. So- that puts me in my forties. I will take that. Running helps.

When I went running today , I saw a snail and he was stuck to the side of a condo. He was about 7 feet high on the wall! . I had seen that same snail ( at least I think it is the same snail) a few days ago when I was running. Even then I felt God nudge me saying “ see Donna, that snail did not get that high quickly, but he did it”

The Lord Jesus is kind and gracious with me and whomever calls out to Him. In Philippians 4:13 it says this “ I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me. “

What are you feeling snail like about these days? You are trying to get there but feel like you are going at a snails pace? Don’t give up! You can do it. Ask the One who is bigger than you. He can help!

The Default

My computer has a default setting it seems for just about everything. I was thinking how I am no different. I wish all my default attitudes and thought patterns was something I could truly brag about, but then I would be lying.

I think the first and greatest challenge I face it to respond instead of react. To react takes no thought- it is what comes naturally. To respond takes thought and reflection. It involves breathing and thinking - making a conscious decision to create a different outcome.

It is a bit like walking by the dining room table and seeing a bag of kettle potato chips( that I am convinced will be in heaven) and choosing to not grab a handful or three. That really takes a moment! It would take no thought to grab a big handful!

I think for myself and many people, how we respond to criticism whether fairly or not- is a huge challenge. It is hard to not take things personally. To make the first impulse response to listen and see what you might need to change and NOT get defensive- is really hard.

I go to God- talk it over to Him. He does give wisdom and peace. He helps us find a way when the contrary winds of life blow. But, He does wait to be asked.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God . Phil 4:6

I have discovered if I run to Him first as my default the outcome is generally much better. I find He gives me grace and wisdom. It is curious that in the middle of it all we are instructed to give thanks. Usually we say thank you for things that truly seem to have a positive- not a negative. Giving thanks does seem to make a way for many things including a different perspective on the challenges we face every day.

Sticks in My Eye!

I was thinking today about some of those quiet ( hopefully) unseen attitudes that are in my heart. It is so easy to smile and nod, say kind things all while in your heart, you hear the whispering that you are so thankful they cannot hear.

I felt that this week. I was nice enough but through the entire conversation, there was a storm in my heart. I said all the right things. Later, I was talking to God about it. ”. What is it that skews my view so I cannot see clearly, or that causes the storm in my own heart. That is when I started to think- maybe I have sticks in my eyes.

God pointed out to me it is sometimes jealousy, bitterness, envy, anger, hurt, fear, stubborn attitudes - all of these and more I am sure, can skew my view and likely anyones view if we are to be honest.

The next question I asked the Lord was what kind of sticks are in my eye. As He kindly mentioned them to me, I confessed each one.

I thought about how even when a bug flies in my eye, how hard it is to see, how much worse when it is a stick!

In Matthew 7:3-5” Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

When I was praying today, I did not feel like there were multiple planks as I have walked with God awhile but I have to say, there were a few sticks there. And He showed me this. Maybe I have found a way to look past these things for awhile, but now, they are gone. All confessed and the Lord has taken them out.

How is your sight these days? What kinds of plank or sticks are in your eyes? It is funny, how easy it is to see who needs to get the sticks out of their persons eye- but so hard to stop long enough to realize, there are indeed a few sticks in our own!

Party Advice to Myself

Every day I meet people, I notice what is on the outside, the styles, the expressions, the hair- do’s, beyond that, I do not see. I am met with serious limitations. I can’t see the heart, the motives,  nor can I see into the mind of another person. Even if they tell me, there is no guarantee that I am going to hear things as they were intended.

This is the season of many gatherings with friends and family. How many of those conversations will lead me to see and hear as I ought? I want to deal in truth and not false perceptions. I do not want to jump to my conclusions. I am well practiced at it sadly. I think I see clearly, but often. I am wrong, what I heard is not at all when they meant.

The only way I can know really is by taking the time to listen without thinking about what I want to say next. Listen without interrupting. Even if I know a story that would be perfect - except I also know it is way cooler or more exciting than the one I just heard, just let it pass. I don’t have to have the biggest story. Another good idea I need to remember  is no one needs to hear the bad news unless they are part of the solution. I need to be okay with asking questions, good ones that are more than a yes/no answer.

I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 a few days ago, I am reminded of what love looks like really from the Author of Love. Love is patient and love is kind. It keeps no record of wrongs.  It hopes all things and believes all things; love never ends.

I think most of usl have those people in our lives that require patience and maybe some extra grace. There are those whose errors in judgement, all the rotten things they have done, are all very fresh in my iron trap memory - yet, who am I really? God has forgiven me so much.

To live and love well, is to extend the standard of love that God Himself sets for us in 1 Corinthian .13. Before I go to another gathering or have people over, I think I am going to re-read that passage. Then I will ask the Author of love to fill me up with His kind of  love that I am so often short of.

The Hard Stuff

Today I was thinking about the hard stuff of life. Those things we should do, but frankly they are too difficult. It is easier to talk about running than to actually go running. It is simpler to speak about forgiveness than to truly forgive someone.

There are many things in life that are hard to do and so we dismiss them. I have made promises I need to follow through on and have not as of yet. There are books I should read that remain unopened. I also have projects I would like to begin but have not found the time to do so. Our getting around to these difficult things can be a real challenge.

What is it that stands in our way? Today I was reading Romans 8:37-39. These verses remind us that “we are more than conquerors through Him (Jesus) who loved us.” There is nothing that is too hard on my to-do list that through Jesus I cannot complete. He is with me and nothing can ever separate me from His love, His promises, His strength, His wisdom, His peace, and His presence. He is always with me. On this truth I stand and from this perspective I face each challenge as it arises.

Yesterday was the 14th anniversary of my mother’s passing. The anniversary of her death is a very difficult time for me, a valley. Yet, as December 6th comes and goes, I am reminded that the Good Shepherd never leaves me. His peace that surpasses all understanding is right here with me amidst the sorrow and the crushing loss I feel because of the loss of my late mother.

Life Lessons and Baking

I have been asking God to speak to me. Last week, I was baking again, (one of my favourite things). My son and his lovely wife had gone on a trip to Mexico last year and brought me some real Vanilla as a gift. What I have discovered about it, is this. I have to be really careful how much I use. If I use what the recipe asks for, all you taste is vanilla. All the other flavours are completely overwhelmed by the vanilla. I like vanilla, but not like that.

When I was baking I was carefully putting in my small splash of vanilla, I knew that God was telling me something, I was just not sure what it was until a few days later. 

I was sitting with a group of women, all wonderful but I know that for the most part, we interpret things of faith and life, quite differently. One person had spoken up and was sharing her heart felt wish on how she wished her relationship with her husband would look like. I was stunned to hear what she was desiring. I knew people like the open marriage idea- at least some, but I do not personally know anyone who would hold to that idea. I had many thoughts and things I wanted to jump in and say, immediately, I thought about my Mexican vanilla. If I said what I was thinking, my comments would have ruined everything. I remained silent. I am sure, at a better time, I can share what I believe to be a healthy marriage, rich, full of love and trust. She thought her idea was forward thinking. My idea would be the opposite of that in her mind. 

There will be another time, when I can share a little bit of what I believe to be true. How much and when, we will see. 

Remember- too much vanilla, or words ill placed or spoken harshly have the same effect.

A Little Hard of Hearing Maybe?

As I sat working today, I could not help but overhear someone speaking to an individual on the phone who was clearly, hard of hearing. 

The one woman was pretty much yelling to be heard. She was trying to tell the person on the other end of the line, they are picking them up at 3:00 for a hearing appointment. I know this, as I heard it - 3 times!

I wonder how often, God has not been trying to speak to me and I am the one who needs the appointment to hear God more clearly. In the middle of the many things which are easier to do, scrabble, baking, Netflix, Pinterest ( you will sadly note that the gym is not on the list) Stopping, and really listening to what the Good Shepherd who does speak to His sheep, is saying to me. 

For today, I think I get it. "Donna, I am talking to you! Will you listen! I have much I want to tell you if you would just slow down and listen to Me!"

When you slow down, get quiet, what is God saying to you? He is always speaking to us, because He loves us and longs for us to know Him better. Psalm 95: 7-8" Today, if only you would hear His voice and not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah, as you did in Massah, in the wilderness" 

God's people were not far diffrenent. They failed to hear God's voice, yet His call to them, is the same as the call to us " When you hear My voice, do not harden your hearts" 

" Suddenly"

I remember day after day, rushing home after school in Grade 5, to see if my cat finally had her kittens. Suddenly, one day when I walked through the door my cat Suzy was waiting for me. I knew something was up because she was quite a bit skinnier then when I left for school that morning. I followed her up the stairs and there in my brother's bottom drawer, were four kittens, each one different from the other. What a day that was! 

There are many times that we find ourselves waiting and waiting then suddenly, the waiting is over. If you are anything like me, and waiting is not your strong suit, then, this frequent occurrence in life, is pretty challenging. I don't think I know many people who are good at waiting. 

In the Bible, the word"suddenly" shows up many time indicating both good and bad situations. "Suddenly" a fierce storm rose up and the disciples were terrified while Jesus was snoozing in the back of the boat. (Luke 8:24). Jesus gets up and calls to the wind to be silent. The disciples are in awe as I certainly would have been had I been in that boat. Truth be told, I would have likely woken Jesus up even sooner!

The point I simply want to make today is, there are those things in life we wait and wait for then suddenly, the wait is over. It is a new day. God does a lot in you and I while we wait. I have waited 5 painful years to see one huge answer to prayer and I am finally seeing it... suddenly there was a change and the day came. For ten years we have prayed as a church for a new place to worship and suddenly, God opened the door. 

The challenge in walking with God is believing that one day, as we walk by faith and not by sight, things will indeed change. In the meantime, we walk, we wait, we pray and we believe because "suddenly", one day, things will be different and the wait is over. 

One Journey- Two Different Perspectives

Imagine the scene- it is a bright and sunny day, you are entering a valley, it is a beautiful green valley. The path before you is level, but there are some dips, some twists and a few steep climbs along the way. The birds are singing. You can hear the stream bubbling along beside you singing its own tune. We soak it all in, the beauty around you, the path before you, its challenges but you walk and the Good Shephard is right there leading you and you are grateful. 

Then there is another traveler, the same scene exactly, but that is not how they perceive it. They notice the sun, but there are clouds also, they speculate in their mind, it will likely rain today. Every dip along the way seems more like a ditch. The twists on the path cause a quiet unseen panic to rise. They like seeing where they are going. They wish they were not so very alone on this journey. The silence is deafening. 

Nearby the Good Shepherd is calling to them, finding ways for them to notice His constant presence. His love for them is unwavering, and His voice calling to them is unceasing.

Life with mental illness is just like the second journey. The first traveller may have many judgments and suggestions that begin with " if you would just..." If it were only that simple. Thankfully, the truth found in Psalm 23 regarding the Good Shepherd, is just as true for both travellers. Both are dearly loved. However, when you stop and reflect, if a Shepherd is really good, would He not watch a little closer to the one with a broken limb, an eye that is hurt and it skews its view? 

Dirty Laundry

I am not crazy about wearing my own dirty laundry, let alone someone else's. Last week, I had a weird dream. I found myself wearing someone else's dirty pajamas! I could not understand, why in the world I would be wearing them! It's certainly not something I have done or plan to do. At least not in real life. However, metaphorically, is another issue. More than once that particular week, I found myself the recipient of out of proportion emotion from people which left me feeling heavy hearted. As I sat and prayed for over these conversations, I realized that I really had experienced my dream in a strange way. There are times, we find ourselves in situations, where people are in a difficult space or under pressure and then, without even realizing they are throwing the dirty laundry our way. The next question is, what are we going to do about it? Well, just like we don't like wearing our dirty laundry or other peoples'; we take it off and put on clean clothes. God never meant for us to wear the dirty old clothes that belong to other people. One real stunner if you ask me, is that people are happy to have us wear it! The blame, the fault finding, the out of proportion anger- unless we have done something clearly, we need to go to God with it. Ask Him, is this fair God? Is there something I need to pay attention to? Or is this something I need to simply throw off and fast! 

 Let's not wear what is not ours, we have enough of our own to deal with!

" I AM Here!"

More than once I have been in a boat with waves so high I feared for my life. In John 6: 16- 21 we find the disciples battling high waves. They were rowing hard. It is out of the wind and the waves to the voice of Jesus is heard “Do not be afraid, I am here!” (Vs. 20)

Jesus knows that when things seem out of control, fear quickly swells in the hearts of people. He does not rebuke the disciples for the fear; He simply reminds them (while walking on water) that He is here.

I also find it curious as we read about Jesus walking on water, (not an everyday sight certainly) the waves are high and the wind must have been blowing considerably to create that height of waves. It was not a quiet, calm night our Lord walked out to His disciples. The conditions were rough for boating let along walking on water!

In our life and ministry, we find ourselves facing many challenges and sometimes fear rises quickly, remember that the One who walks on water calls to you and me with the same words “ Do not fear, I am here!”

He never leaves us and He continues to give us what is needed for every situation we face.

Jesus had not told the disciples while still standing on the beach “ Do not be afraid, I am with you”. It was not until the waves were high and getting to the other side seemed impossible those words of encouragement were given.

This same truth is just as true today, as it was that day on that remarkable day on the sea.

"Chains" By Michael Dyck

Chains, we don't see them hanging off our soul, but we do see evidence of them. Chains come several varied in the forms; unforgiveness, greed, addiction, the list, long and varied.

My son Michael sent me a beautiful poem he wrote to today reflecting on chains and where in this world we can find freedom from them.

Chains

Chains, chains I find myself bound.

I have walked down a path where there’s no way I could be found.

I am surrounded by lies where freedom is hidden in disguise.

So my heart cries as it’s tried to find the prize but left empty handed.

  Because I looked not to the heavens but to the earth and its sky.

 Oh chains, chains, you hold me from freedom.

I looked to the world for answers and what I walked away with has acted more like cancer

 It started with a taste of what they claimed was freedom,

   Now my life is surrounded with voices, I can’t silence the demons.

  So it’s for this reason I am calling out the world of the highest level of treason.

You have stolen my freedom!

 So now I turn my head from this world’s wisdom and look upon a different kingdom.

There’s a God who says “Come to me and I will make you without blemish or stains,

Bring your burdens, your disgrace and the things keeps you shackled and I will break your chains.”

He tells me to lift my head because I now have a reason, call on my name and I will silence all the demons.

Come to me child and I will give you your freedom.

 By Michael Abram Dyck,  June 2017

Chin Up!

I remember sitting in the Dr's office one day and my very wise Dr. saying " Donna, the way you feel today is not forever". I found it hard to believe at the time, but she was right. I feel great now. The struggles that I face are not my own, but they sure affect me. 

As I sat yesterday and wrote in my journal for awhile and simply reflected on what these last number of months has been for me. Difficult, frightening, exhausting, heartbreaking are the words that come to mind. I wish the list were different, but I would be lying. 

Dealing with loved ones, struggling with addictions is nothing short of heart-wrenching. Watching them struggle, one bad day after another, knowing where addiction has taken others in my family, leads my heart down a dark path. 

Psalm 121 has been the Psalm I have quoted and leaned into on the darkest of days. " For I look onto the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from God, maker of heaven and earth."

I take comfort because we serve a Savoir who did not rise just a little bit, but rose indeed! He conquered death and He is all powerful, He is mighty to save. He reaches into the lowest hell and walks down the darkest allleys and is not afraid or turned off by the brokeness He finds there. Psalm 23 reminds us that He is a Good Shepherd, in this there is comfort and hope. Both of these things brings me rest for my soul. 

Whatever your burden today, chin up! God is big enough and loves you and is willing to carry all that weighs your heart down today.